Regarding Seifer
by PrincessDesire
Summary: Seifer is brain damaged and must learn how to talk, walk, and love again. This is a mystery yaoi pairing. Watch out for the character death. It's sad. But, it ends as happy as I could make it.
1. Default Chapter

**Part 1  
The Battle**

  


There was a sharp grunt of anger from the GF Ramuh in response to a sweep of gunblade. Seifer's feet, in perfect symmetry with his shoulders, slid back from the force of the electrical burst. The dirt sprayed from beneath him, almost knocking him off his balance. He felt warm tingles over his body that he instantly recognized as a healing spell. 

"Dammit Irvine! Don't heal me!" he yelled out angrily. 

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" asked Zell. It was insane. Seifer had ordered them to stay in the back row while he had equipped his cover ability. It was hard to watch the trouncing. No one should have to face a GF alone, but it seemed that that was what Seifer had in mind. Zell was no good in the back row, he needed to be close to Ramuh to do any damage to him. "Ramuh's going to kill him!" 

Irvine shrugged, keeping his outward appearance unconcerned. Inside though his thoughts were as chaotic as Zell's. It was as if the two of them were just there for the show. Seifer wasn't letting them help him. It took a lot to make Irvine mad but this was really starting to get to him. Seifer was just so damned egotistical. Only he would think of battling a GF by himself. 

'Just a little bit more' thought Seifer. His body felt weakened by the magical attacks. He could feel his limit about to break. The pains in his stomach and head nauseated him. It would be worth it once he broke Ramuh. Luckily Irvine had cast a low level healing spell that hadn't recovered much of his health. 

His gunblade felt heavy in his arm, as he slid to Ramuh's right side. His shoulders were low and he kept his eyes focused on Ramuh's staff-equipped arm. His left side was more alert than the side with his weapon. It was instinctively prepared to defend. Unfortunately, as his brain registered seconds too late, his arm was no shield to an electrical shock. As his weapon stabbed out at it's goal, his left hand was meeting the pure force of lightning. 

Zell and Irvine were momentarily blinded by the flash in front of them. Then, a figure dropped down from the light. It had been a foolish move for Seifer to have been doing, but they hadn't realized it could be a fatal one. Irvine was the first one to reach Seifer's scarred body. He dropped to his knees and hooked his arms up to the elbows with Seifer's. As quickly as he could, he dragged the six foot tall body away from Ramuh. Zell jumped in to where Seifer had stood and summoned a GF of his own. 

In the back row, Irvine leaned over Seifer's motionless body. He rested his head on Seifer's chest, his hat crumpling between his ear and his goal. Irvine angrily tossed his damned hat off. Why did he wear it in battles anyway? His hands tore open Seifer's vest, revealing another layer of clothes. Was Seifer that insecure? 

Once Seifer's undershirt was lifted above his heart, Irvine pressed his ear against the bare muscular chest. His hand rested on Seifer's stomach as he cast a scan while listening for a heartbeat. Both were discouraging. He didn't hear or feel anything in Seifer's chest. The scan proclaimed him dead... 

Shit. "ZELL! He's..." He couldn't bring himself to say it. Or think it. He just needed to calm down and think. When he looked up at Zell, Irvine saw a bright light as Ramuh was defeated by a final blow from Shiva. In seconds, Zell appeared instead of the shapely GF. 

"You have beaten me. I will join you," a loud voice boomed from the flickering image of Ramuh. Zell felt a surge of power invade his body. It was the last time that Ramuh would feel like a stranger to him. It was always a thrill to gain a new GF, but his concern for Seifer remained on top of his emotions. He heard Irvine's voice calling to him. He focused on the world again. 

Zell skid to his knees in front of Seifer. His shirt had been pulled above his chest and stomach, though they were covered by Irvine's large hands. It would have looked suspicious if Seifer didn't look like death. His body covered in tiny discolorations and burn marks. Irvine's eyes were large and afraid. He wasn't good under pressure. 

"Stand back," commanded Zell. As soon as Irvine lifted his hands from the body, Zell took hold of a phoenix down. He had never had to use one. He hoped it was the last time. "Okay Seifer, come back to us, you jerk." 

Tiny sparkles flew in the air as Zell released them from the bottle. They swarmed around Seifer's ruined body, over his sharply angled eyebrows and across his forehead scar. By the time it reached his chest, there was a definite movement to it. Seifer was breathing again. Zell and Irvine could have cried with relief. 

"Dammit!" sighed Zell, letting himself drain the tension. That had been close. The sparkles were fading now. Seifer still hadn't woken up. Maybe it would take some time. "Maybe we should get him into the car..." 

Irvine stared down at poor Seifer. He wasn't sure how long phoenix downs took. But, the thought of carrying Seifer even between the two of them seemed like an unpleasant task. He looked up at Zell to see how he was feeling. The short blonde was rubbing behind his neck. Irvine had almost forgotten that Zell had had to fight Ramuh as well. He stuck out his hand towards Zell and cast a cura on him. Even as the air was still aswirl, he also cast cura upon Seifer. After all, he hadn't moved yet. 

Zell's blue eyes looked gratefully at him. "Thanks." 

Irvine shrugged, taking another look at Seifer. "He has GOT to be heavy." Seifer was built incredibly manly. He was over six feet tall with broad shoulders and combat trained muscles. Not exactly light luggage. If Zell, who was a good foot shorter than Seifer, was willing to try, Irvine would. 

Seifer was heavy as it turned out. The rental car seemed a lot further away than it had when they had parked it. The real struggle was getting him into the car without tossing him in like a sack of potatoes. A 200 pound sack of potatoes. Irvine seemed relatively calm until he began to drive. He drove as fast as the car could go without exploding all the way back to the garden. Luckily, Balamb wasn't that far. 

Zell called ahead, so when Irvine drove in to the Balamb Garden Garage, there was already a team of nurses ready to haul Seifer off. Zell slammed the car door behind him, bouncing around to stay in the center of the action. Wherever they took Seifer, he felt responsible to follow. A nurse warned him to stay back as they loaded the unconscious man onto a stretcher. Zell felt ready to burst with worry. 

Irvine wasn't making a spectacle of himself. But his heart hurt thinking of what could happen to Seifer. He hadn't moved since the phoenix down. Was it possible that he could die anyway? It would be all his fault for letting Seifer be a pompous ass. Irvine was smarter than to have let him just take on Ramuh unaided. He should have said something, shown a spine. 

With heavy hearts, Zell and Irvine followed the medical procession.

  


  


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	2. The News

**Chapter Two  
The News**

  


"Phoenix downs cannot make a person immortal. They recover major damage to vital organs. If there is no damage, just a progressive weakening, a phoenix down is useless. Which is why, the older a person is, the less receptive they are to it's effects. 

"Now, Seifer isn't old, but what I've said about older people is important. In some cases, a person just deceased and restored by phoenix downs or the spells life or life2, will be revived in body and not mind. Again, this is usually seen in cases in which the patient is in his or her mid-sixties or older. The brain is overwhelmed by the death experience and though there is no physical damage, the patient's mind will not recover." 

Seifer's brain was screwed and it was all Zell's fault. He watched the small group that considered themselves Seifer's friends reacting to the news. Squall's face didn't change, not that anyone would have expected it to. Rinoa and Quistis looked so sad. It looked like they might break into tears. Irvine was staring at his gloves. All of this pain, and Zell had been the one to cast phoenix down on him. It was one thing if the brave Seifer had died in battle, but to slowly whither away as a vegetable... 

"Now, while it's possible that Seifer's brain simply may never become active again, there is also a chance of him pulling out of it. He is, afterall very young and strong willed. We all know that he's been through a great deal and come out on top. If there is going to be a change in his present status, it should happen over the next few weeks. If he doesn't wake up by then, he probably won't." Doctor Kadowaki hated how it sounded. Afterall, she loved the Balamb Garden students as much as her own children. "Still, the garden does cover the cost that it will take to monitor him until he does. Even if it takes years, he will be watched over." 

"Well," said Irvine to the doctor. "Zell and I would like to keep an eye on Seifer." Irvine knew that Zell felt just as responsible for Seifer's condition. They had been the naive ones that had let him be reckless with his own life. 

Dr. Kadowaki smiled. "That would be very nice of you both." 

"But, what can we do?" asked Zell. Usually he was very social, but the group around him just made him feel embarrassed that they knew he was partially responsible. 

"It's always good for coma patients to hear a familiar voice. If you two could visit him, talk with him, I'm sure it would help." Then a larger grin filled her mouth. "Besides, Seifer Almasy has the power to live." 

"What about the rest of us?" whined Rinoa. Not that Seifer would want to see her anyway. An ex-girlfriend bitching might just keep him in his coma. 

Squall folded his arms as he often did before he said something decisive. "It would probably good for Seifer not to have too many people around him." His mind added 'especially Rinoa'. He was just beginning to understand that he wasn't as different from other people as he thought. He had the feeling that Irvine and Zell were taking all the blame for themselves. And if he were them, he would want a chance to make it up to Seifer. Squall was trying hard to develop his empathy and he felt confident that he was right in this situation. 

"One thing that you could do, is to bring some things from Seifer's room. So that when he wakes up, he will have some familiar surroundings." 

"I'll take care of that!" offered Zell. He would be happy to move around, get away from his friends who couldn't possibly understand how he felt. Before going off, he watched Irvine nod to him. Yes, they were both Seifer's servants. At least until he was better, then all bets would be off. Zell would be wishing Seifer was still in the coma.

  


  


Surprisingly, Zell had to go to the maintenance area of garden for Seifer's room key. He just figured that Squall would have a master key that worked in any of the dorms. He recognized a janitor or two that he had seen walking around the Garden before. For the most part though, he didn't know any of the lower level staff. Of course, everyone had heard about Seifer Almasy's accident. So, it wasn't much of a surprise when he asked for the key. The head maintenance man did have to call Squall to confirm his authority. Zell wondered just how many of these minor problems Headmaster Leonhart had to handle on a daily basis. 

Zell didn't have very many responsibilities at Garden. It was because he came across as somewhat unreliable. But, really, he was pretty good at handling important tasks. Hadn't he helped defeat the sorceress? Obviously, he was capable of getting the job done. Squall and Irvine giving him permission to ransack Seifer's room was a big leap of faith. Normally, Squall liked to be in charge of everything. Rinoa was slowly transforming him though. Everyone could see the changes in him. He was opening up to people a little now, trusting a lackey where he never would have before. 

Zell was always a lackey... 

The door to Seifer's room proved to be incredibly formidable much like the man. It was just like every other door, but behind it was the room in which Seifer Almasy, famed Sorceress's knight lived. Seifer would kill him, if he knew that he was there. Of all the years at the Garden together, he had never been inside Seifer's room. The door slid back for Zell, and he stepped inside cautiously. If Seifer had jumped out at him with gunblade in hand, Zell wouldn't have been surprised. But, there was no one there, in the dark dorm room. 

"So Seifer, let's see if you keep a clean room." He was talking out loud just to shake the uncomfortable almost creepy feeling he was getting. He flicked the light switch on and was overwhelmed with...blue. Blue bed, curtains, carpet, lamp. It was like he had walked into a home and gardens "blue" issue. To Seifer's credit, it was a very manly shade of blue. The bed was made, but the dresser drawer's were open. There was a pillow or two on the recently vacuumed floor. So Seifer wasn't the clean freak that Zell had always assumed he would be. He wasn't a slob like Irvine either. 

"How about a blue pillow Seifer?" asked Zell as he grabbed one from off the bed. As he swished it from the bed, he knocked off a book that had been under the pillow. Was it a diary??? Zell rushed for the book. It was just a book about gunblade fighting stances. Zell felt dumb. Like Seifer would keep a diary. It would have been fun though. 

Odd thing to keep under your pillow though. Zell picked up the manual and flipped through the pages. As he did, more things fell out of the book. He saw before he bent down, what it was that had fallen. They were pictures. His hands shook as he saw the picture of Rinoa. Her dark hair was pulled upward away from her pretty face which was a giant smile. She was wearing a cute red dress that Zell had never seen her in. Underneath that was another picture of Rinoa, this one in her favorite blue outfit, which everyone saw her in most of the time. There were three more pictures under that each one a picture of Rinoa. Zell frowned. Seifer must have still been in love with her. 

He knew that they had dated before Squall had ever even met Rinoa, but he didn't know that Seifer still cared about her. He had never given Squall shit over dating her. It wasn't like Seifer to keep any feelings of anger inside. But feelings of love... 

Zell searched the room thoroughly searching for more signs of this tender side of Seifer that he hadn't seen before. Apparently though, that was it. He piled up a few things that he thought Seifer might want around him when he awoke. When the stack was nearly higher than his head, Zell grabbed the gunblade manual and set it on top.

  


  


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	3. Dreams in the Night

**Chapter Three  
Dreams In The Night**

  


Irvine sat still watching the minutes tick by on a small clock that had been on the nightstand beside Seifer's bed. Now it sat on a folding tray next to his medical cot. There was also some cheesy award for being the top of his class several years back. It was sad that these things were the most sentimental items that Zell had been able to find. To make up for it, he had brought back an exorbitant amount of trinkets. 

Seifer was sleeping on his own pillow, which Irvine imagined must be a comfort to him once he awoke. Until then, the cowboy was a guardian. He knew inside that him sitting there with Seifer wasn't going to make any change in his condition, but the sense of loyalty nagged him when he was away. Zell was off blowing some anxiety in the training center, which he had done the past few days since the accident. It gave the poor coma victim some peace and quiet. Irvine would just let the both of them enjoy the silence. 

He stopped watching the clock, feeling that he was somehow slowing it down. Instead, he turned his attention to the sleeping blonde on the cot. How long would it take for Seifer to wake up? It had been three days now. Though he wasn't expected to wake up that quickly, Dr. Kadowaki had told them that the earlier Seifer pulled out of the coma, the faster his recovery would be. She had told them that it would be at least a week. Two weeks or more, and that was a bad sign. 

Seifer's face looked so sweet in unconsciousness. Well, what he could see behind the breathing apparatus. He didn't have that mocking, amused grin. Irvine always hated that. Both of them had a lot of self-esteem, but Irvine considered Seifer's ego the bad type. He used all his confidence to strip others' of theirs. Yet, here in sleep, he was vulnerable. Handsome. 

It wasn't the first time that Irvine had thought this. Not even the first time since the accident. He wasn't really into masculinity, or at least he had thought so. He preferred his women girly like Selphie. But, there was something about the strong nose and eyebrows and arms that Irvine liked. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he recognized it enough to keep silent about it. If he felt a slight attraction, or maybe even a strong attraction, he wasn't about to go telling others about it. Afterall, women didn't want men who were attracted to other men. 

And Irvine definitely wasn't. 

Though Irvine wasn't attracted to Seifer, his dreams brought his familiar scent and the imagined feel of his gloved hands. The heat that Irvine felt, twisted him inside with unfulfilled needs. In his imaginings, he woke repeatedly believing the blonde to be beside him. Each time he was met with the sadness of an empty bed and the memory of Seifer's condition. 

Zell was up late again, attacking creatures in the training center. His hands hurt and so did his head. But it was pointless trying to sleep. He could lay in his large, cold bed and think about Seifer in love with Rinoa. The jealousy that he didn't need to try to understand would always drive him back to fight. Why would Zell sacrifice someone that meant so much to him? Was Seifer really a nice guy underneath it all? Did he pine away for her like Zell did for Seifer? 

Rinoa pulled her body away from Squall. She had basically been forbidden from seeing Seifer. Yet, she wasn't getting any sleep anyway. She was worried about him. Sure, he was a jerk sometimes, but down deep, she still loved him. She rolled over away from her boyfriend, pushing her hair out of her face with a sigh. She was just such a mess about this whole thing. 

Quistis snored peacefully in her cozy dorm room, oblivious to the soap opera-like occurrences in Balamb Garden. 

  


  


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	4. The Beginning of the Road

**Chapter Four  
Beginning of the Road**

  


"And then, just as I thought I had seen the worst of it, a giant very pissed off T-rexuar pummeled into me from behind!" Zell dove forward landing on the ground dramatically. 

"Then, I kicked him off me!" His legs thrust upwards. When he was back on his feet again, he heard a clapping sound. His face reddened at Irvine who stood amused in the room's doorway. They had given Seifer his own recuperation room. Which was a good thing for Zell regarding his performances. He also would have been embarrassed had anyone heard his late night confessions to the unprotesting Seifer. 

"So, is this what you do with him?" asked Irvine, his girlish lips in a friendly smirk that was so unlike Seifer's challenging one. 

He resented Irvine's being there. It was Zell's day with him. The schedule they had formed alternated days and nights. Occasionally Squall or Quistis came by, but Zell didn't mind sharing Seifer with them. They didn't want to spend all their time with him like Irvine did. "What do you do with him?" 

"I tell him all about my feminine conquests," joked Irvine. He wasn't about to admit that he just sat and watched Seifer sleep. 

Zell snorted. "Figures. Well, I'm not going to do that with him." 

"I wasn't suggesting that you do! You do what you want with him." 

"Then why are you here on my shift?" demanded Zell angrily. He had always made sure to stay away while it was Irvine's turn, he deserved the same respect. 

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't molesting him." It was a joke on the surface, truth in the middle, with a bitterness that carried it into Zell's ears. 

"You are the walking hormone!" His voice rose. Zell was dangerous when he was angry. It was the reason he had taken up martial arts in the first place. The intense, packed frustration inside him riding behind every kick and punch. It was a beautiful salvation for Zell who didn't want to end up some kind of jerk who hit his kids. Right now though, the anger was making his body prepare for an attack. 

"Holy fuck!" gasped Irvine. His eyes were focused behind Zell, to Seifer's cot. Zell turned quickly. Seifer's beautiful green irises were visible. His eyes were open. "How long has he been watching us?" 

Zell was grabbing onto the edge of Seifer's bed before his brain had registered the movement. He hadn't even felt the few steps it had taken. Seifer still remained motionless, but somehow he had pulled back his eyelids. Zell was equally happy and excited. Seifer would pull out of it! The strong-willed bastard could do it! 

Irvine felt the cool rush of relief soothe the nerves that had been on edge for 6 days. He had seen the energy take hold of Zell, as the nervous energy left him. Now the two looked at each other joyously. So many hours they had spent caring for the same man. It was ridiculous for them to have been arguing. 

"Maybe he doesn't like seeing us fight," said Irvine softly. 

"You're right! We've got to work together!" Zell stretched his hand across Seifer and gripped Irvine's tightly. For a moment, each felt something spark. They each attempted to kill the last remnants of rivalry. "I should get Dr. Kadowaki." 

As Zell dashed out the door, he wished with all his heart that Seifer wouldn't make any more recoveries before he got back. 

"Well look who's awake in only six days!" gushed Dr. Kadowaki. She knew that his recovery would be quick. He was the most stubborn man she had ever met. His eyelashes lowered a teeny bit and raised back up. He could hear her! "Seifer, your friends are here. They've been taking such good care of you!" 

Another eyelash jiggle. She wanted to giggle like a happy little girl. It would be okay for poor Seifer. She reached out and touched Seifer's hand. "Do you want to see them? They want to see you." 

Zell stepped in from the doorway. He cautiously approached Seifer. Now that Seifer was awake, his crush seemed silly. "Hey Seifer..." 

"You scared us buddy," said Irvine. Okay, so that was a lame thing to say. But, what did one say to a near-vegetable? It didn't seem like even talkative Zell had anything witty to say. They all just sort of stared at him. The delightful part being that he stared back. "You two might want to leave now. I need to take some readings from him and take care of all this medical mumbo-jumbo." Dr. kadowaki winked at them both. "He's going to be okay boys. You can sleep." 

They could sleep! That was funny. They had been kicked out of the infirmary and now they didn't know what to do with themselves. Irvine just leaned back against a wall in the dormitory looking GQ. Zell was grinning like an idiot. The pent-up happy energy was nearly tearing them both apart. 

"We should celebrate!" Zell hadn't partied in a long time and today seemed like the perfect reason to. 

Irvine shrugged. He was thinking if Seifer had pulled out of it in six days, what might he be doing by the next morning. He wanted to be there right when Seifer woke up. "Nah, he'll need us." 

Zell shook his head unhappily. He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't party. And he had been spending far too much time in the battle room. 

"Hey Zell, I was thinking..." That was a serious tone from Irvine. "Maybe you know, if Seifer didn't like us fighting..." 

Irvine cut himself off by coughing. Zell hadn't seen Irvine afraid to make a social slip. If there was any diplomat among his friends, it was Irvine. 

"Maybe we shouldn't take turns taking care of him. Maybe we should like, work together to help Dr. Kadowaki in any way that we can." 

Zell laughed. "You're talking like me Irvine!" 

Irvine smiled and tilted his head downwards, the hat covered his eyes. "I feel like an idiot from the way we've been acting." 

"Yeah, me too." Zell kicked out the ground a little with his toe. "But starting tomorrow, we are going to right back to helping him and stuff so people may as well get used to it." 

Irvine liked seeing Zell with some self-esteem. He had always admired the blonde's amazing ability to remain happy in bad times. Maybe he should go out and party, find a girl. In a deeper part of his mind, he was hoping that maybe if he slept with a girl, it would drive out some of the fantasies he had been having lately of Seifer.

  


  


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	5. Strolling Through Gardens

**Chapter Five  
Strolling Through Gardens**

  


Zell and Irvine were happily greeted the next morning (more like afternoon) by an upright Seifer. He was sitting propped against a pillow looking blankly at the two of them. Irvine looked beautiful as usual, but Zell was more ragtag. The two wore the two sides of morning hangovers. The dilapidated easily angered side and the still a little drunk from the night before side. It was easy to tell which was which. Irvine's smile had a slight dizzy tilt to it and Zell's brows were seemingly stuck in a downwards position. 

And now, after some partially regretful sex with women they (hoped) would never see again, they viewed Seifer's tremendous progress. 

"Well, I'll be!" exclaimed Irvine. Seifer blinked in response and opened and closed his mouth. A little spittle formed at the corner. That was a little less than attractive. 

"So, I see you two have seen our fastest healer!" Dr. Kadowaki proclaimed. She was all sunshine this morning. She wore a nice pendant around her neck that lay over her usual drab uniform. They had never seen her wear jewelry. She was celebrating in a much more socially acceptable fashion than they had. "I'm so glad I have you boys around! I have some things for you to do!" 

She explained Seifer's need for social interaction and getting back "on task" as she put it. On task with Seifer would mean bullying students and generally being a pain in the ass, but it did seem preferable to his current state. 

She demonstrated his ability to communicate. She held up some signs and asked him to indicate which thing was blue, or which thing was a circle. It was rather hard to watch his mouth flapping open and close like a fish gasping for breath. He would eventually cock his head to one side and he was always right. His brain seemed to be holding up well.

"I want you two to take him for a walk. Let him get some fresh air. You can take the path underneath the ballroom balcony. It's quite nice in the afternoon." 

They were taking Seifer for a walk like he was a dog. Both had mixed feelings about that. Seifer had been divided into two people. The cocky Seifer who was their leader in most missions and who had earned their respect with his skills. Then, there was the Seifer they had allowed to come to harm. The one they felt responsible to take care of. The one that they cared about. Now, as Irvine pushed the wheelchair through Garden's garden, they felt pity and satisfaction. 

"Wow, check out this statue!" yelled Zell, running off pointing. Irvine smiled. The great outdoors really suited Zell. He was just too much to contain inside. "Hey Seifer, betchya never saw this one before!" 

"Um, Zell, does Seifer strike you as the garden strolling type?" asked Irvine. He didn't want Seifer to think that Zell was an idiot. Though it was nice that he was trying to include Seifer. 

A big lopsided grin appeared on Zell's face. "Seifer probably likes taking the time to...smell the roses!" He grabbed a flower and dramatically held it to his nose. 

"Man Seifer, you have to get able to talk again so that you can defend your honor."

- - - - - - - - - - -

They had no idea how much fun they would have. Indeed, if Seifer could have spoken (and been forced to tell the truth), he would have said that those few days of recovery weren't that bad. They were scary and degrading, but with Zell and Irvine to look stupider than he did, it was easier. 

"So, then I said to her...that's not my suction cup." 

"I don't get it," said Zell. "Irvine, that was a terrible joke." 

"Yeah well, Seifer got it. Look at him, chuckling away." Seifer wasn't laughing, but his mouth was open. He had stopped drooling the day before. It had been 10 days since he had been killed, and he was being scheduled by Dr. Kadowaki to walk today. 

"Even if you have to poke him in the ass with Squall's gunblade, he needs to walk today," she had said. Poor uptight Squall who had been there, for once, actually flinched. The doctor was putting her all into forcing Seifer to recover. She knew that he had it in him to heal quickly and so there was no reason to delay. 

"So Seifer, we're supposed to get you to walk today...How do you feel about that buddy?" To their surprise, Seifer nodded his head. Zell and Irvine smiled happily at each other. "Okay then, class begins!"

Seifer would later be teased for taking his "first steps" towards Irvine. The first day of attempting to walk again had been a failure and had left a gloomy air over the three. So when the next day came around, Seifer was determined to set his weak and wobbly legs to work. Zell was holding his arm around his elbow. 

"Okay Seifer, just walk like three steps and Irvy and I will buy you a candy bar." Seifer had been eating the mushy glop at the infirmary since the accident and had lately been pushing the plate away from himself. OF course, it wasn't a very dramatic widespread gesture. His fingers would tap against the plate as one of the boys attempted to get the spoon into his lips. They took this, surprisingly, as a good sign. Perhaps they could bribe him to recovery with real food. 

Seifer's head turned to look at him. The eyes were still relatively lifeless, but there was a spark to Seifer that Zell could always see. It was one of the things that he loved about Seifer. "Hey Irvine, I think he's ready to work for his meals!" 

Irvine grinned. He held out his arms. The distance between them was laughably small, but it looked like miles to Seifer. He closed his eyes, as if it wouldn't be so hard if he didn't see how far away Irvine was. The other two watched with intense excitement as ever so slowly, one slippered foot slid about 6 inches. Seifer paused. Even he needed to have more courage sometimes. 

"C'mon Seifer, I'll cover you with kisses if you just come and get them," cried out Irvine happily. Teasing seemed to be the only thing that would get Seifer Almasy to act like a man. Sure enough, the goading worked. Seifer's eyes flew back open. He looked...annoyed. 

Zell glared at Irvine. "Or you can do it for the hot dogs man." 

Another small slippered step. With the next step, Seifer would be out of Zell's grasp and he knew it. The tall blonde had more courage than the other two and they realized that when he took that next step. He was free-floating. Zell still held out his hand close just in case, but with only two more wobbles, Seifer was touching Irvine's hand. 

Zell could only see the back of Seifer's head when he stepped into Irvine's arms. It had been magnificent to watch. The small journey had had them all wound up so tight. Once he was safe in the cowboy's arms, Zell bounced a little. He had done it! 

True to his words, Irvine kissed Seifer's cheeks and if it hadn't been for the weeks of paralysis, Seifer would have knocked him out cold. "You did it! Hot damn! Let's get you some real food huh?" 

- - - - - - - - - 

When Irvine finally got back from his meeting with the Headmaster, Seifer had already been put to bed. He crept into the infirmary room. It wasn't as dark as it could have been, because of all the machines with their blinking lights. Also, the window was open and the moonlight was shining down on the sleeping man. And the lump in the chair. 

Zell. He was curled into a ball with a book stuck around his thumb. Usually Zell could make up his own stories to tell Seifer, he must have run out of new ideas. Irvine stepped across the floor to stand next to the small fighter. It was chilly in the room, so as quietly as he could, he closed the window above the bed. 

Zell didn't wake up. He also didn't wake up when Irvine pulled off his duster and spread it over the sleeping mass. Irvine stared down affectionately at the two boys. They had been the focus of all his attention for so long now. Not even Garden related issues had made it to his brain lately. It was all about making Seifer better. 

Irvine sighed. With Zell in the chair, it meant that he couldn't spend the night with Seifer. It was nice when he got the opportunity. There was that wonderful feeling of excitement when he would see Seifer's eyes awake and the day would be a new one of progress. Each day that Seifer was alive was a miracle. 

And Zell seemed to think so too. Their attachment had become more than just a sense of guilt. It was obvious to the two of them. They were both seeing Seifer in a new light. Seifer had been all gloating and cruelty before. Now he was strength and determination. Irvine respected him now. Not that he hadn't before. Just the way he handled his gunblade had been inspiring. Recovering from a coma was like something only a hero could do. 

Their affection for him had to be obvious to Seifer. Who knew what Seifer would have to say about that when he could talk again? 

Irvine smiled as he reached down to run his fingers through Zell's hair. His little comrade in arms. He was always so eager to help. Zell was so *sweet*. With a hopeful heart, Irvine headed back to his room. They would see what happened once Seifer woke up. Perhaps he would tell them both to go to hell. But maybe, just maybe Irvine wouldn't have to head back to his lonely dormroom anymore.   


  


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	6. A Million Ways to Say I Love You

**Chapter Six  
A million ways to say I love you**

  


Seifer was awake by dawn and pulling on Zell. It was a nice way to be woken up. He looked up to see Seifer's arm reaching far from the bed. "What is it Seifer?" Timmy in the well again? 

Seifer's eyes glanced around the room. Zell stood up. "Food? Are you hungry?" Seifer shook his head. 

"A book?" Nope. "Water? Do you want the window open? Dammit Seifer! You need to talk again!" 

Seifer nodded. 

Zell swallowed. Really? "You mean, you're ready to try and talk?" 

Seifer nodded again causing Zell to jump up in the air. "Yeah man! We can do that! I'll go have Dr. Kadowaki get those phonetic flash cards!" 

He ran out of the room. This was great! The man had been walking yesterday, and today he would speak. They would have their Seifer back! He wouldn't feel so damned guilty all the time. 

He called the doctor on the infirmary phone and she told him where he could find the cards. Zell was beginning to feel like he was an assistant there. Once he had the cards in hand though, he was thinking that Irvine should be there. 

"Hey Seifer, I'm just going to get Irvine. Is that okay?" Seifer nodded, his hands pointing upwards. He wanted the window open. "Hey, pretty soon you'll be able to ask me to get that for you." 

- - - - - - - - - -

Irvine slept naked. It wasn't that surprising to anyone that knew him. Just like they would have guessed that he was a thong type guy. Sleeping naked meant that it took longer to answer the door. Zell bounced outside his door impatiently. "Dammit Irvine! I've got news!" 

"I'm getting dressed! Do you want me to answer the door naked?" he yelled. 

"He wants to talk today!" 

The door was instantly opened. Irvine, with a thong on, one leg in his pants, stared at Zell. "No way." 

- - - - - - - - - -

"Don't rush it man! You'll get it soon enough. I mean, hell, most people wouldn't have even come out of the coma!" 

"Zell!" Irvine looked shocked. You don't just say that to someone. Though, he understood that it had been a long day. For three hours they had been sitting watching Seifer stare at the words trying to form them on his lips. The flash cards had the words broken up into syllables. Seifer couldn't even get out one of the syllables. As time wore on, Seifer's face was turning more and more red. He was frustrated with himself and the situation. 

"Hot....dogs..." chanted Zell. 

Seifer's faced turned purple and his arms just moved. They didn't do anything much, they were just an expression of Seifer's anger. 

"He's not a pet Zell!" 

"I never fucking said he was! I'm just telling him that we just need to be patient." 

"He knows that!" 

"So fucking sue me! Like I know how to deal with this!" 

Seifer wasn't moving anymore. He was watching the two combatants. 

"YOU don't know how to deal with this? What about Seifer? He's been working his ass off, he doesn't need you to tell him how to do things." 

Zell stood up, his chair flying backwards and falling over. "You think that I've been playing or something?" 

This had become a bad situation fast. Normally Irvine was the voice of reason, but he had just spent an awfully lonely night with large hopes and was seeing them be put on hold. All he wanted was a friend to hold him and instead he had the guilt of nearly destroying a decent man. Irvine had allowed Seifer to be an idiot, when he had known that the consequences could be dangerous. Every day of his life he regretted not stopping Seifer. 

Irvine stood up too, but slowly. He then walked out. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Seifer wasn't speaking to him. Well, he wasn't speaking to anyone. But Zell got the impression that Seifer was specifically not speaking to him. 

No matter. Zell fully intended on sleeping in the infirmary chair anyway. He had earned his badge of martyrdom. He was going to stay in the chair and guard his territory. 

He just sat back and watched Seifer fall asleep. What if Seifer couldn't speak at all? What if day after day they tried and it was just all in vain? Zell couldn't help feeling pessimistic. He hated the fight he had had with Irvine. For weeks, they had been inseparable partners. It felt uncomfortable to be arguing. 

It was bothering him more than he would ever have imagined it would. His skin felt to tight. He wanted to go fight something, to think about something other than Irvine's icy glare. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Irvine wasn't going to be able to sleep. He didn't know why he was kidding himself. After discussing more plans for a mission coming up with the Headmaster and fighting an exorbitant amount of petty monsters, he still was wound up. Why had he been so harsh to Zell? He was just trying to help Seifer. Hell, that was the goal of both of them. 

In the infirmary, Zell still wasn't asleep. He looked up when Irvine came in. The moment was suddenly awkward. 

Irvine, wearing jeans for a change, squatted in front of Zell's chair. His whispered words were so heartfelt. "I'm so sorry Zell." 

Zell smiled. "Hey, that's okay..." 

"You and I both have feelings about Seifer and I think I was just angry about that." The night went completely still. Irvine wasn't the type to keep secrets. His life was pretty much an open book and he was sick of having this competition between them. If Seifer wanted Zell, he could have him. Irvine didn't want to lose the friendship that he and Zell had developed. It was too cozy. "It's stupid to fight over him. You are my best friend." 

Zell's eyes looked blue even in the darkness. Of course, they were wide open which made them easier to see. "You're mine too. I don't... You're right. We should just let him choose and stop worrying." 

Irvine smiled happily at his friend. "Cool." 

"I........d..d...d...on't...w....w...ant...eith...er...of...you..." came a metallic voice from the infirmary bed. 

Both men whipped their heads around to the bed. Seifer's mouth was still open as were is his eyes. The joy that filled the room then was unmatched by any scene in a hallmark movie. Zell would never confess to the tear that slid down his cheek. Seifer was really going to be okay. There was a happy ending ahead. 

  


  


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	7. Night Visions

**Chapter Seven  
Night Visions**

  


"Stup...pid b...bastards." 

"Wow! It's a good thing that you are talking again! We really missed hearing your shit." Zell was leaning back against Seifer's bedroom wall. He had finally been allowed to leave the infirmary. Now that he could walk with his walker, he didn't need an attendant to help him go to the bathroom. 

"Oh, d...don't t...talk like that...t to y...your love," ribbed Seifer. He had gone back to being a jerk. Anyone would have thought that suffering like he did would have taught him a lesson about being cocky. But no, he had gone right back to teasing them. Zell was repeatedly close to punching him. What had he been thinking? He didn't love Seifer. Seifer was an asshole. 

"Yeah well, these 'stupid bastards' aren't going to be around to help you out and Selphie is the only one willing to deal with you." 

Seifer groaned. Selphie hanging around him until Zell and Irvy got back. Oh God! Had he really thought of Irvine as Irvy? "Didn't you as...ask Squall?" 

"Squall is headmaster. He doesn't have time to take care of you," pointed out Irvine. 

"And Quistis would rather have sex with a bloodsoul," added Zell happily. "She actually said that too." 

"So basic..c...ally, everyone is happy I'm alive, but they preferred me in a c...coma." 

Zell crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Oh come on Seif, stop feeling sorry for yourself. We'll be back in two days." 

Then Seifer whined. "But...Selphie?" 

"You'll survive." Irvine was grateful that Seifer was still weak. Otherwise he might have to worry about Selphie surviving. 

Seifer didn't want them to go. As often as he tried to make them feel stupid, he had really grown attached to having them around. He had never had such close friends before. It was nice. They were like parents. Parents that were going away on a trip without him. "I h...hope you get eat...eat..en by a Rub...y dragon." 

"Sweet. Anyway Seif-hun, we really have to head out now. Selphie is going to be back around 1400 hours after she's done helping out with the kids." Irvine reached over and ruffled Seifer's hair. "Try not to be too mean to her." 

"Yeah, she's the one person in this Garden besides us who wants to deal with you." 

'Even Rinoa?' he wondered. It hurt to think about her. It hurt worse to think that she wouldn't want to be around him. He didn't ask them though. Not even to his two servants, would he confide the secret that he still loved Rinoa. 

Irvine hated leaving Seifer alone. This would be his first time without them since the accident. It made his stomach knot all funny. If something happened to Seifer while they were away, Irvine would never forgive himself. "Hasta," he said as he coolly walked out the door without looking back. Life would be strange without Seifer. 

Zell was never good at keeping composure. "You're gonna be okay man." His feet tapped nervously. "It's only two days." 

Seifer smiled. "Go away Dincht, I'm a big boy." 

Zell's eyes pouted. Yes, Seifer was a big boy. They had to trust him enough to leave him for a few days. Though it was making Zell go crazy. "Bye." 

- - - - - - - - - -

"Train...train...take me away!" 

Zell screamed. Oh, it had just been a nightmare! He had been watching Selphie slowly kill Seifer by annoying him to death. Dammit, his first night away from Seifer in weeks and he was dreaming about him. 

Irvine sat up in the bed next to him. "You okay?" 

Zell laughed and lay back down. "It's so fucked up to care about that asshole." 

"I know," sighed Irvine. "I was dreaming about him too. Rinoa was visiting him and she touched him and everything was all better." 

The night was warm, but the room was freezing. They always kept the air conditioning too high in fancy hotels. The hotel they were in was a hell of a lot nicer than the places they usually had to sleep in. This was a diplomatic type mission. Irvine had been trying to take more of those since the failed shooting incident. Sure it had been his matron, but it had ruffled him up pretty bad and he had begun to question the whole sharpshooter thing. 

Zell was the best choice for a partner in diplomacy, because if things got ugly, he had his weapons on him at all times. They couldn't make him take off his hands. 

"So basically, she could fix what we couldn't." 

"Yeah, well in mine, Selphie was bugging Seifer to death!" 

Irvine chuckled. "That's probably more than a dream, it's a vision." 

Zell turned over on his side to face Irvine's direction. "Do you think he was really serious when he said he didn't want either of us?" 

Irvine let his body snuggle back under the blankets. It really was cold. Maybe he should find the thermostat. "I'd imagine so with the way he's been teasing us about it." 

"That sucks." 

"Yes, it does." 

Both boys were silent with their thoughts. Then Zell shocked Irvine. "It's cold, let's sleep in the same bed." 

"Zell, I CAN just tinker with the thermostat you know. Hell, I could open a window, it's hotter out there than in here." 

Zell sighed. "I know." 

Irvine moved his hands outward, to touch edges of his bed. It was a queen size. It had felt too big to him, but he had been sleeping on either his small twin in his dormroom or the chair in the infirmary. Oh who the hell cared anyway? "Okay." 

He was surprised he had agreed to it and he was surprised when Zell crossed the floor carrying a pillow. He threw back the covers, did a quick check to make sure Irvine was wearing some form of underwear, and slid beside him. 

The two were still again. 

"What is it about Seifer that you love?" 

Irvine rolled away from Zell. It wasn't anything he could say to his face. "His strength, I guess." 

Zell agreed with that. Yes, it was Seifer's strength he loved most of all. "I can certainly live without him talking." When Irvine had turned away, he had turned more than his body. It was as if he had been trying to shut off the intimacy. Zell wanted intimacy or he wouldn't have come into Irvine's bed. So, he turned and faced Irvine's back. "I had forgotten what an ass he is." 

"He is pretty though," joked Irvine. He needed to lighten the situation up. He was feeling dangerously content with Zell next to him. 

"You are always thinking about sex," accused Zell. 

"Not always. Sometimes I'm thinking about guns." 

They both laughed. "Women and guns," was all that Irvine Kinneas was said to think about. Now the two of them knew better. Apparently, he also had a weakness for blonde men. 

"Hey Irvy, in a way...I kind of love you too. After this, I don't really know if I can handle things without you, you know?" Zell felt nervous in the silence that followed. 

"Yeah," was all that Irvine said. But the two felt the air clear and it was silently chosen to be the last word of the night. 

Somewhere in the night, in that place where you aren't quite asleep and aren't really awake, two boys became tangled up together. Arms wrapped over arms and bowed foreheads huddled together. It was cozy, just like Irvine always thought Zell was. They slept. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Sleep wasn't so considerate to Seifer. He had woken up from a nightmare, again, and now sleep was refusing to return. It was one of two nightmares that he had. The worst thing about the two nightmares was that they were true. In one, he died at the hands of a GF that was ominous and surrounded by mists. He could feel the blood rushing from his body and his head spinning, just as it had on that day. The other, Squall Leonhart, his enemy held Seifer's own true love close to his heart til dawn. Rinoa would look into Squall's eyes with the same look of utter love that she had once given to him. He didn't know which one was worse. 

He wanted some water. That wasn't easy, but at least the journey to the tap would be distracting. He moved his legs off the side of the bed. So weak. It ate Seifer alive that he was so vulnerable. He had always had reason to be an arrogant bastard. Now, he was just a medical patient. When he recovered, he would show them all by becoming twice as strong as he had been. Then, maybe he could fix this Squall and Rinoa problem. 

It would help if she would visit him. He had heard from Selphie that Squall had forbidden Rinoa to visit him while he had been in the coma. What was stopping her now though? Was she afraid of how disgusted she would feel because of his handicaps? 

He pushed himself up and grabbed hold of his walker. Stupid, flighty Rinoa. Of course, the breakup had been his fault. He hadn't called her. But it wasn't because he had forgotten about her. It was because of how crazy she made him. When he was around her, he knew that he could fend off any man from even looking at her. Seifer carried a gunblade, but beyond that, could radiate hatred for miles if he wanted. But, when she was far away, he couldn't protect her. He couldn't stop her from flirting with men, couldn't stop her from kissing them the way she had kissed him. 

Rinoa was feminine beauty's role model. She was delicate and beautiful. She was thin and vibrant with hair and eyes dark and enchanting as the night. When Seifer had returned to Garden, all he could think of was all the men that would kill themselves just to smell her hair. It was too much. His jealousy was making every bone in his body hurt. He wanted her to be his property as well as his love and he couldn't handle her. So, he stopped calling her. It was better if she didn't belong to him at all. 

But Squall! How could she have picked in the whole wide world, the ONE man that Seifer truly hated? Their rivalry hadn't been fun, hadn't been a game! The teasing hadn't been a surface thing. They had never been friends down underneath. He knew how to piss off Squall, and Squall knew how to piss him off. They were both egotistical control freaks and both wished the other to disappear. 

As children, they had done cruel things to each other. Both sent to the same place later on, because no one had wanted them. Once they had arrived at Garden, everyone immediately respected Squall. It was something about Squall that made everyone look up to him. Seifer hated that. Why couldn't they admire him? He had become a gunblade specialist! He had once had Rinoa! 

Now he was a cripple with no Rinoa. 

He had been walking to the sink using his walker, and now he had to stop. The tears were filling his eyes for the first time since the accident. He wanted Zell and Irvy there to take care of him. He wanted to focus on bothering them so that he wouldn't think about how shitty his life was right now. "GODDAMMIT!" he yelled. He was so sick of feeling helpless. 

It woke up Selphie and she bounded out of the adjacent room. She was wearing matching flannel pants and shirt and she had a stuffed animal tucked under her arm. "What's wrong?" 

Seifer wiped at his tears and wheeled his walker to the front door. "Fuck..ck all of you! I'm s..s...sick of your shit!" 

He didn't know how he intended on grabbing the door handle once he got to it, or what he was going to do after he opened it. He just needed to get out. He wanted to run. To feel his legs, strong and sure beneath him, taking him far from Rinoa and his weakness. 

"Seifer? Where are you going?" Selphie was so confused. Seifer had been doing so good. They had played board games and been so happy. She had had doubts about spending two days together, but she thought it had gone all right. 

"Wherev...er the fuck..ck I want to g...go. Tell Sq..Sq...Squally that he can just c..cross me of his role c..call." With that, Seifer scrambled at the door knob, barely managing to turn it. It turned and he backed up his walker to allow it to open. 

"Seifer! Stop! You don't have anywhere else to go!" 

The words were so honest. So fucking honest. Seifer hung his head down to his chest. "I know..." Tears fell from his cheeks. Garden was his home. His home now belonged to Squall. His woman belonged to Squall. He had no one to turn to, nowhere to go. This was it. "I know." 

Selphie closed the door and helped him back to his room. Her eyes were blurred with tears as she helped lift him back into his bed. She had never had any idea. It wasn't like she could imagine how it would be to be handicapped, but she still cried for him. He had been carrying himself so well, no one could have guessed the way he was hurting. 

She slept on the floor next to his bed that night. Seifer was surprisingly fast asleep by the time she had her bed made up. It had taken a lot of energy to have that outburst. Selphie wished him all the happiness in the world, it was the first time she'd ever made a wish for Seifer Almasy. 

  


  


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	8. Jumped Conclusions and Broken Dreams

******Chapter Eight: Jumped Conclusions and Broken Dreams   
**

  


Negotiations finished early. Zell and Irvine were awaiting the arrival of the Ragnorak. Zell had never seen the kind of charming that Irvine had done to the city's council. It had been impressive. 

The ambassador stood with them. She was making sure that everything went well, even to the end. Her name was Wendy and she seemed like an odd combination of Selphie and Quistis. She was determined and professional, yet obviously excited to be handling the negotiations. Zell thought she was nice. Until she said something profoundly disturbing. 

"You know, you can stay the extra day as a kind of vacation. Our treat," she added. This was not the disturbing thing. 

Irvine laughed. "No, Zell and I have to get back to a kid over in Balamb." 

Zell had been in the middle of agreeing with Irvine, when Wendy had just lost her mind with rambunctiousness. "Oh, I knew it! I could tell you two were a couple! And I think it's so wonderful when men decide to adopt! I mean, who better than to take care of all those poor children, than families that can't make babies?" 

Zell's jaw dropped. Wow. That was some insane conclusion jumping. 

"Yeah," said Irvine before Zell could say anything. He gave Zell a 'shut up' look. A look that Zell felt that he got all too often. He stuck his tongue out at Irvine in response. Oh the maturity. "Well, it looks like Ragnorak is getting to us." 

The three looked up and watched the craft's arrival. The two men couldn't wait to fly out of that conversation. Rule of diplomacy number one: Never embarrass your allies by making them feel like an idiot. Irvine waited until they were on the ship to describe to Zell how he felt about Wendy. He did so louder than Zell would have expected. 

- - - - - - - - - - -

Rinoa was being punished. She knew what she had done was bad, but it didn't make it any easier. She sat at the edge of Squall's bed and pouted. Sure, she had called out Seifer's name. It had only happened once and only because he had been on her mind in a non-sexual way. She was worried about Seifer. Squall shouldn't have been trying to have sex with her so soon after Seifer's accident anyway. Her whole body had been traumatized by Seifer being in a coma. 

The worst part was that she hadn't realized she had done it. Squall had frozen completely and gotten this horrified look on his face and she hadn't even known what was wrong. She had looked around her. Was there a bug on the bed? Did she have something on her face? Then he had gotten off of her like she was leprous. 

"What?" she had demanded. She was so furious with him. Then when he had told her, she felt that much more guilty. 

"I AM not Seifer." 

Her cheeks had reddened beyond crayon color. She felt the heat from them with her hands, which she covered her face with. 

No matter how much she insisted it was just her concern and that she didn't normally think about Seifer while they were making love, Squall wouldn't relent. She knew better than to visit Seifer Almasy. Though she pumped Selphie for information about him everyday. 

Now he was able to speak again and Rinoa needed to talk to him. She needed to ask him why he had dropped her like a rock. It wasn't that she didn't love Squall, she needed him like air, but Seifer Almasy was not a person you could stop loving. Even after thrusting her to the Sorceress, she still loved him. He was a golden god of power and strength. Squall controlled the night, he rescued her from loneliness and dangers. Seifer would offer her up dangers just to entertain her. 

They were two sides of the perfect man. 

She needed to talk to Seifer. The time had come to ask him why. 

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Zell is reading you Peter Pan?" asked Selphie in utter amazement. 

Seifer shrugged. "Yeah. He st...topped for a w..while, but I w...wanted to see the end." 

She laughed. "Nifty. It's one of my favorite books. Did you find out how much like Captain Hook you are?" 

The only person who bothered to try and get Seifer's goat up was Selphie. He grinned at her. It was nice to not be thinking as much as he had last night. He barely remembered getting back into bed. But when he woke up, he watched her picking up her blankets from the floor. She had stayed by him. He had never known these people could be so loyal. It wasn't like he had spent much time hanging out with them. 

They both looked up when a knock came at the door. Selphie's eyes squinted. Who would be visiting? Maybe it was Quistis. "Yes???" 

"Um, I came to talk to Seifer." Rinoa. Seifer's heart flipped over and went into death throes. She was here to see him. See him like this. Why hadn't she come before? Why had she come now? 

Selphie sprung up. Rinoa had confided her secret about the Squall slip up with Selphie, and she knew that she shouldn't be standing in the hallway. She opened the door and gestured Rinoa inside. She then peeked out the hallway to see who had seen Rinoa come. There wasn't anyone down the hall. Maybe Squall wouldn't even find out that his girlfriend had come. 

The shock of seeing Rinoa again, made him almost lapse back to paralysis. He was sitting on a chair in front of a board game that he and Selphie had been playing. He was lucky he hadn't been standing when she showed up, cause he sure as hell wouldn't have been for long. 

Seifer was still handsome. He didn't have any horrible marks and he wasn't drooling out of the side of his mouth like Selphie had said he sometimes did. He was the same beautiful Seifer. All those weeks of worrying and here he was, whole and alive. 

Before she knew what she was doing, she was wrapping her arms around him. "I...was...so...scared." She was sobbing against him. This man that had rejected her, then tried to kill her, whom she couldn't live without. 

Selphie left the room. Her curiosity would just have to wait. And even though she was loyal to Squall, she couldn't decide what she hoped came out of Rinoa's visit. 

Seifer was too surprised to cry, but if he had been, he would have wept a tear for every moment that Rinoa hadn't been in his arms. 

"Why? Why didn't you want me?" 

When had he ever not wanted Rinoa? He couldn't imagine a time that he hadn't wanted her. She was crying and he was holding her. "All...w...ways w...w...want..t...ed y..you." 

His voice wasn't working, because the emotions were too much for his frail body. He didn't want to have to explain to her all the reasons. He wanted her back for good. He pushed his head against hers and her lips naturally collided with his. He tried as hard as he could to kiss her. To kiss her like he had before, with passion and fire. Instead, he was afraid that he would start drooling again. He pulled back, sick with himself. 

"That's okay," assured Rinoa as she kissed his cheek. "I mean, it's amazing you are still alive." 

"W...why?" He stopped. He wanted to ask her why she hadn't come to see him. It was so tough to talk. He was so worn out from everything that had happened today, and still a bit from last night. "Y...you did...didn't c..c...come." 

Rinoa laughed. "It's a long story." 

"M...mine t..t...oo." 

"Okay, I will believe that you had a good reason for dumping me, if you believe that I had a good reason for not visiting you." 

Seifer nodded. They were both confused about what Rinoa was doing now. She was sitting on the chair's armrest and leaning into him. It was a strange and wonderfully exciting moment. 

"I should get going. Squall doesn't know I'm here. I just want you to know that... I still... care." She was intentionally not saying that she loved him. That was a secret that had been trapped by her heart for too long. She bent down and kissed his lips. "I'm so relieved you are alive." 

- - - - - - - - - - -

"It's just the Florence Nightingale effect boys! Nurses get it all the time!" Dr. Kadowaki giggled. It was a relief. Zell was glad he had suggested coming. "I mean, even I get it. A lot! Even when I'm just bandaging an ankle sometimes." 

Eeew. That was too much information. Zell and Irvine looked at each other. It was time to get back to their Seifer. 

- - - - - - - - - - -

Irvine held Zell back from taking another step down the hall with his hand. "What?" asked Zell annoyed. He looked where Irvine was looking. Rinoa was leaving Seifer's room. 

Luckily she was walking down the opposite end of the hall. But what had she been doing there in the first place? 

The two nearly ran the rest of the way. Zell didn't even knock, he just came in. Seifer was standing in his walker. "Zell, Irvy, I need you to help me. I need to get strong again, so that I can get her back." 

  


  


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	9. Hard Work edited

**Chapter Nine: Hard Work (The Edited Version) **

"Just t..ten more." 

"Seifer, ten more and you're going to go back into a coma!" Irvine set his hand on Seifer's sweat-laden arm. Those arms had been doing pushups off of the infirmary's metal brackets for too long. Irvine was watching Seifer's exhaustion be dwarfed by his determination. It was sad and endearing at the same time. He wanted to pull Seifer off the bars and put him straight to bed with a glass of milk and Zell to read a story. 

But just as he had been doing for days, he sat back and watched Seifer overdo it. When the ten more were finally up, Seifer swung himself back over to his walker. His sweat was sliding off his forehead and he wiped at it with the back of his hand. It didn't do much good, because his hand was damp as well. Irvine snatched up his towel to dry his head off. "You may be an idiot, but your body still is impressive." 

Seifer grinned. "You can't have it Irvy." 

It was wonderful whenever he managed to get a whole sentence out without a stutter. He really was making extraordinary progress. All he had needed was the right incentive. Zell's hot dog idea hadn't worked. Both Irvine and Zell were jealous and didn't enjoy that he was doing all of it for Rinoa, but they wouldn't have had him back to the way he was either. 

Irvine laughed. Sure, he couldn't have his body, but what Seifer didn't know was that every night for six days, he had slept curled up next to Zell. Irvine wasn't sure what kind of relationship he had with the cute, little blonde, but he had a feeling it was something that he shouldn't mention to anyone. He hadn't even told his near-son Seifer, whom he now shared nearly everything with. 

All Seifer knew was that two other men didn't stay in his room every night. Though Zell still read to him. It was childish, but it gave Seifer something that he needed to help with his mission. 

There were more secrets than just Irvine and Zell's new relationship. Squall had stopped by to visit Seifer and to view his progress. Squall didn't even seem to pick up on the fact that something had changed in Seifer. Anyone with half a brain could see the new spark to his eyes. Could see that he was a man with a purpose. Squall just stood around looking uncomfortable and speaking the minimum amount of words he could. 

None of them had any doubt that if Squall found out about Rinoa and Seifer's tryst, that he would have them both out of his Garden immediately. With tooth and nail he had fought becoming a leader, but now he seemed to be a bit power hungry. 

"Well, that's all I c...can do with my body for now. I need...d to talk. I c...can't have a stud...der when I tell her I love her." 

'What does she have that Zell and I don't have?' Irvine's brain screamed. Other than the obvious anatomical points, she didn't have anything special. "Well, let's get back to your room then. You need some rest." 

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Do you know what is great exercise for the mouth? Kissing!" 

The looks Zell received were not friendly ones. "If I c...could be kissing her do you think I would b...be here?" 

Zell raised his arms up in the air. No! It was the perfect idea! "No!" He suddenly launched himself in front of Seifer. "You could practice with us." 

There was an air of disbelief. Irvine shook his head. "That is the worst excuse I've ever heard." 

"It's not a trick! I'm serious. I mean, sure I wouldn't mind..." Zell trailed off, his face turned pinkish. Then, getting back to the matter at hand, "But, it would work though! You could use us like we were weights or something. The kissing will help you talk because it strengthens mouth muscles. Plus! You'll get some needed kissing experience!" 

"No." 

"But..." 

"NO!" 

Irvine grinned. "Well, you didn't stutter then." 

Seifer glared in Irvine's direction. Zell wiggled happily like a puppy. "Come on Seif, I won't slip you the tongue!" 

"No, Dammit! Kiss Irvy, but don't kiss me." 

Zell blushed full on. Did Seifer know something? No, it had to have just been a joke. After all, he and Irvine hadn't kissed. Once, he had kissed the back of Irvine's neck while he slept. But Seifer hadn't seen that. "I don't want to kiss Irvine. I was just trying to help man! I think it would work!" 

Seifer's eyebrows lifted. The twirp was actually serious. He looked at Irvine, the one whose opinion he trusted, and the cowboy actually seemed to be considering things. No! It was just too gross of a thought. These two were like family to him, not lovers. He wanted Rinoa. Still, another part of him wanted to do everything he could to achieve his goal. Maybe kissing practice would be good for his mouth muscles. "It wouldn't be fun. I'd want to d...do it for hours." 

Irvine and Zell had happy shivers of pleasure. Kissing Seifer? For hours? Irvine had thought Zell was nuts for suggesting it, but now he could have kissed him for coming up with such a brilliant idea. 

"Yes!" Zell shook a fist in triumph. He then landed on the bed next to Seifer, who was propped against the wall. The vibrations bumped the back of Seifer's head and he made a pained face. Then, his features were blocked from Irvine's view by Zell. 

Zell had had many fantasies about kissing Seifer. None of them lived up to the real thing. Seifer kissed like his life depended on it. This man didn't need better mouth muscles! Zell had never been devoured by a kiss before. If they were going to be doing this for hours, he was going to have a very embarrassing moment. 

Irvine had expected the jealousy to flow through him. And it did. But it came from the opposite direction. Instead of not wanting Zell to be kissing HIS Seifer, he didn't want Seifer kissing HIS Zell. 

It wasn't until Zell kissed Seifer that it hit Irvine. He was totally in love with Zell. He had never felt love like it before. He wanted to be the one that felt Zell's lips. So, he rose from his huddle on the floor, and wedged his face between them. It didn't give him the desired reaction. Instead of Zell kissing him, now Seifer was. Hot damn! That boy could kiss. Irvine was thinking that when he felt another mouth at his ear. 

Everything turned from friendly to a lust driven orgy. 

!! This is the edited version !! Normally there would have been a big happy sex scene with three gorgeous Balamb guys. Blame the site, not me!!

They were a happy heap on Seifer's bed. The afterglow was radiating like an aura around the room. Zell and Irvine curled up in each of Seifer's shoulders; they were holding hands over his stomach. Grins spread across serene faces. 

"See? I told you kissing was a good workout," gloated Zell. 

"I personally think that you got more of a mouth workout though," pointed out Irvine. 

"Still want Rinoa?" asked Zell gleefully. He felt a hand scrunch him closer to Seifer's naked body. 

"You g…guys mean a lot…t to me. But, Rinoa…" he paused. How stupid did he want to sound? He just needed to be honest. What better time than after an orgasm? "Rinoa is m…my one. She's it and I always knew that…t, but I was t…too dumb t…to hold on to her." 

Zell giggled. The other two just looked at him. "Sorry, afterglow." 

"We'll help get you back into shape Seifer. Promise. We'll do all we can," said Irvine. 

"Love you guys," said Seifer slipping happily into a post-coital dreamland. 

Back

  


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	10. Territory

**Chapter Ten: Territory  
**

  


"Another mission?" asked Zell in surprise. "But, Seifer's almost better! Can't we have an assignment in Balamb or something?" 

"Trabia isn't that far, I'm sure we could get a hold of you if anything happens to Seifer." Squall had become like ice. Maybe it was because no one was bullying him to open up anymore. Seifer had become the type of person that everyone had wanted Squall to be. No one felt like putting up with Squall anymore. 

"Irvine and Quistis too? What is this mission?" 

Squall frowned. He had cut his hair short recently. It made his eyes even more profound. They looked sad. "Pretty routine actually. Edea just needs to check up on conditions there. Unfortunately, the Forest Owls have gotten wind of a terrorist organization hell bent on getting revenge on the Sorceress." 

Zell let out a yelpish "Woah!" 

Squall shook his head. "Yeah, I know. It's crazy. Anyway, they are supposed to be located in FH, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. It's not like it's that big." 

"So, we are bodyguards?" asked Zell. He didn't like the idea of his matron being threatened. It made his fists ball just out of reflex. "I hope they show their faces. I could smash them into bits." 

Squall nodded. He understood. They shared the same adopted mother and he loved her just as much. There were only three people that Squall cared about in the world and Edea was one of them. Ellone was safe in Esthar and Rinoa was safe under his wing. "But, this trip to Trabia is top secret. The group is supposedly based in FH, but that's not to say they aren't capable of movement. Still, I suspect that nothing will go wrong. It's merely a precaution." 

Zell could see his point. It did feel to him that Matron should have an army surrounding her, but he knew that was just his personal feelings. Besides, who better to protect her than her children? 

Squall sat down at his desk. "You leave tomorrow. I suggest you rest up tonight. I want you alert." 

Zell nodded a brisk, professional nod and left Squall to his own thoughts. They were uncomfortable ones. He was afraid for Edea, which was creating a headache, but he was more worried about Rinoa. She was keeping something from him. Ha! Rinoa, the constant nagging "be more open with me" girlfriend. He hoped for both their sakes that it had nothing to do with her "slip-up" in bed. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"I won't do it 'til you guys get back." 

"You do realize that only primitive cavemen literally fight for a woman, don't you?" asked Irvine. He found the idea of Seifer ready to battle Squall amusing. He saw Rinoa in a frilly dress just waiting to see who would survive to claim her as a prize. 

"Maybe I should find another caveman instead?" asked Seifer snootily. 

"Damn straight!" agreed Zell, slapping Irvine's butt. The two had now become an official couple. 

Irvine blushed. Zell would never have believed it, but The legendary Irvine Kinneas was shy about public displays. He thought it was one of the most endearing things about Irvine, getting him to blush. So slapping his ass in the cafeteria brought a brilliant grin to Zell's face. 

Seifer shook his head in mock disgust. He was so used to their antics that he could tell they were going to do something before they did. It had been nearly a year since the "Best damn time Seifer died." He even agreed that it had been the turning point in his life. Sure, he would still be an instructor at Garden, but he didn't know if he would ever have been able to spend time with Rinoa. The two of them had been sneaking visits to each other. They NEVER even touched, but he could see the tremendous guilt she bore. She loved Squall and now her attention from him was divided. 

It had also given Seifer a personality makeover. Okay, the death hadn't done that. It was his sweeties, Irvy and Zell. They had shown him love when he had needed it the most. Now that his life was showing some promise, he was fully determined to life it the best that he could. Seifer Almasy got waved to when he walked down hallways now. 

"But, I'll be fine with you guys gone! I mean, I'm even back to fighting again. Granted, I'm not as good, but I'll be a master Gunblader again. Just wait." He smiled up at a happy figure that was floating to him. "Besides, I have Selphie to protect me!" 

"Or to push you into the danger!" she squealed. "Apparently, you'd make a good shield." 

Seifer stuck his tongue out at her. 

Irvine felt like it was the last time he'd ever see that. There was something about this trip that he didn't like. Why a routine checkup on Trabia right now with the threat of this rebel group? Shouldn't Cid just go? He tried to shake off the negative thoughts. Everything would be fine, he had Zell with him. 

"Hold the elevator!" shouted a commanding voice from outside the lift. Seifer stuck his hand against the doors with the speed of a trained killer. Which he was. He grinned down at the new passenger, then frowned. It was Squall. 

The air was thick with tension and anger. It was strange the instantaneous transformation that hit Seifer. He felt like he could battle Squall right here on the elevator. 

"Zell and Irvy just left," he said casually. He didn't actually think that he could prod any information about the "top secret" mission, but it would be fun to give him the impression that that was what he was trying to do. "Strange crew… Irvy, Zell, and Quistis. Sure, Irvy has diplomatic skills, but for the most part the team is all power. Three fighters." 

"We train fighters here Seifer that can't be a surprise to you," Squall's voice was part annoyance and part interest. It seemed that he was amused by Seifer's comments. 

"It's a time of peace though. I wouldn't want to think that Garden is doing anything sneaky." 

"It's not Garden I'm worried about doing things behind my back." Squall's voice was utterly evil. Pure and unbridled evil. 

Seifer's stomach dropped. He had told his friends that he wouldn't duel Squall yet, but now seemed like the perfect time to confess his plans to take back Rinoa. "If you've got an accusation to make Squall, you should make it or shut the hell up." 

"I don't have to make an accusation. It's my garden and if anyone is doing things behind my back, I can have them thrown out of it." Squall stepped out of the recently opened lift doors. He didn't look back at Seifer. His body was the perfect statue of composure. Inside, he was shaking. 'Please, don't let me be right about Rinoa,' his inside voice cried. But now wasn't the time. He had to wait, to be in top form when he asked Seifer about Rinoa. And about Seifer's gloves that were in Rinoa's underwear drawer. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Seifer had problems sleeping. Squall had pissed him off so much. They both wanted Rinoa but in the end only one of them would have her. He would see to it that Squall tasted the dust beneath his boots. He was going to be cranky in the morning, he could already tell. 

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	11. I Thought You Brought Her

**Chapter Eleven  
I thought You Brought Her**

  


"Headmaster Cid?" asked Zell. He was shocked to see Cid on board the Ragnarok. He was more shocked to see him lying on a cot, looking like the face of death. 

Cid smiled weakly. "I'm not headmaster anymore Zell." 

Zell threw himself to his knees beside Cid's cot. "What's wrong? Why are you here?" 

He looked up as Edea walked in the door. "Zell, you should probably ask me. Cid is very tired and needs to sleep." Now that he looked at her again, after they had gotten her on the ship, she did look a little ragged. 

He had just come into the room to find some soda. Instead, he had found the dreadfully ill ex-headmaster. It made Zell want to cry. He looked up at the one guard in the corner. Did the guard know what was wrong with Cid? Why hadn't they told Zell to watch him, he would have gladly. 

"Come on, it's time to tell everyone about our stowaway," she led him back to the bridge. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"So, no one knows what's wrong with him?" 

Edea shook her head fretfully. "No, none of Kadowaki's crew had any idea. That's why we are going to the Shumi village. We've already contacted them and they have assured us that they can find a cure. You all know that they have better technology than we do, their medical science is also more evolved than ours." 

"So, we aren't going to Trabia," said Quistis. With a smile she added, "Good thing, Selphie was jealous." 

"No. Though, I'm sure Squall told all of you of the rebel group who has sprung up. It was dangerous for me to come on this trip. But, we spread rumor around FH that we would be landing in Trabia, so hopefully the Ragnarok is too fast to allow them to fix their mistake." Edea paused in her explanation. Her face raised up with pride. "I want to be with my husband at any cost. I'm sure you understand." 

Zell and Irvine exchanged shy glances. They had been batting around the idea of marriage and though it was an inappropriate time, they were reminded of their love for each other. "We understand," said Zell. 

The doors opened and Rinoa walked onto the bridge. She wasn't wearing her blue dress. Zell was absolutely sure she was wearing one of the outfits that he had seen her wear in a picture. A picture that was hidden in a gunblade training book. 

"Oh, and Rinoa isn't so much a stowaway as a last minute addition to the crew. Squall feels the more bodyguards the better." She said it with gratitude in her voice. More than that, Edea and Rinoa had come across a common bond. They were part of a former sorceress club that made them good friends. 

Zell and Irvine looked at each other thinking the same thoughts. Last minute addition? They had left Selphie behind, but she was a much better fighter than Rinoa. Anyone at Garden was. Rinoa was learning, but the rest of them had grown up training to fight. It wasn't backup fighting power to send her. Squall was trying to get rid of her. And there was only one reason for that. 

"Shit," said Quistis. Obviously she had figured it out as well. "They'll kill each other and then no one can have her." 

- - - - - - - - - -

Still, the mission had to go on. Cid was near death and it might be his only hope. Their phone calls didn't work. Squall's line was coming up busy and Seifer wasn't answering. Their friends just had to hope that intelligence would kick in before a battle commenced. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Zone was whispering into the phone even though none of the group was around. "I'm in Trabia. It's fucking cold here." 

"Good, are the leaders there yet?" asked Squall. Now that Zone had finally been accepted into the anti-sorceress group, Squall could crush the group before it got a chance to hurt his women. All Zone had to do was follow them to headquarters after the group realized that the sorceress was not coming to Trabia. 

"Not yet. Grunts and newbies first. You know, scouts, that sort of thing." 

"Keep me posted. I need to know when they find out that she's not there." 

There was a sudden 'click'. Squall glared at the phone in his hand. Zone had better not have just gotten caught. He slammed his fist down on the desktop. 

The situation kept getting worse. First he had to worry about Seifer taking away his girlfriend. Now he had to worry about Edea. If Zone didn't find out where their headquarters were, Squall would have to try and get another man on the inside. Someone that they wouldn't recognize from Garden. 

On top of all the worry, he was about to kill Seifer Almasy. He didn't want to kill him. He just wanted to defeat him, but Squall knew that when both of them started fighting there would be no easy defeat. If Seifer had a blade to his throat, the only thing he could imagine himself doing was demanding the death. Without Rinoa, life wouldn't be worth living. 

But the part that had his insides shook up was the fact that Squall wasn't sure she wanted him. Rinoa might pick Seifer. That thought destroyed his heart, blasting it into pieces. He had gone into space for her. For her sake, he had become a hero. But, it meant nothing to her. He could see her longing for Seifer and it stung him. 

He had sent her away for fear that he would have Seifer near his death and she would come and beg for his mercy. Rinoa, hair perfect with eyes glittered with tears, would throw herself over the bleeding Seifer. She would say with her perfect lips, "Please don't! I love him!" And Squall would smash through them both with his gunblade, because the pain would overpower him. 

Squall Leonhart set his face in his hands and cried. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Cid was set up in the infirmary of the Shumi Village. The Shumi recognized the illness right away. It was one of theirs. Since humans hadn't had much contact with the Shumi, no one had ever heard of a case of a human getting one. They would try a small dose of medicine and see if that didn't hurt his system. If it didn't, they said that it only took one week for one of them to fully recover. If it did hurt him, there was no doubt that he would die. 

It was a stressful time for all the passengers of the Ragnarok. 

Zell was officially in charge of the mission. It was his decision to leave immediately after hearing the results of the medication. Irvine had confided his uneasiness to him and it had made him nervous as well. He didn't want Edea outside of Garden for longer than necessary. 

They paced. Even Rinoa, who hadn't grown up with Cid was overly anxious. 

Though she had more than that to worry about. "I'm sure they'll be fine," said Zell. He wasn't. They were all sure of that. The two boys might have crisscrossed scars the next time she went back to Garden. 

"How could I have not seen it? He must have found the gloves…" Rinoa was near tears. She would sit down only to get back up again. "He was just getting rid of me. If he hurts Seifer, I'll…" 

"And what about Squall? Rinoa, where are your loyalties?" demanded Quistis. She wasn't exactly a relationship buff, but she would never lead to men on. "What were you doing with Seifer's gloves?" 

"I missed him!" she cried out. All eyes were on her. The relaxing water sounds in the waiting room were driving her crazy. There was water everywhere in this village. It wasn't soothing, it was just making her have to pee. She was angry and worried and now she had to pee. 

"Seifer loves you Rinoa. You know that. It was wrong to send him mixed messages." 

Rinoa nodded, the tears finally slipping out. "I know. I need to make up my mind. And I will. Once I get back, I will choose." 

"If you have two to choose from," said Quistis meanly. 

Rinoa's mouth dropped in shock. They didn't want to console her, because they blamed her. "I'm going to the bathroom!" she shouted angrily. She stormed out of the room and they watched her walk off. 

"Well, she'd better head to the Ragnarok…I don't think the Shumi can go to the bathroom," said Edea sheepishly. 

Back

  


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	12. Twisted Blades and Twisted Hearts

**Chapter Twelve: Twisted Blades and Twisted Hearts  
**

  


"Seifer Almasy to the Front Gate…Seifer Almasy to the Front Gate." 

It looked like Squall wasn't going to let this wait until Irvy and Zell returned. Fine, let it happen now. Rinoa had to have heard the page and she would come to witness the battle. She would see how much Seifer dearly loved her. All the years that they should have been together would be made up for. They would finally be together. 

When he stepped outside the Front Gate he saw Squall in the fields. They were the same fateful fields that had witnessed the scarring of the two. Every moment of Seifer's life had come down to this. The petty arguments with Squall that had led to brawls and then finally slices. This time there would be one victor. There would be no more standoff. Seifer had the power of the love for Rinoa and his dear friends to aid him in the fight. He had gone down so easily as the sorceress's knight because he hadn't had anything to fight for. Now, he had the most powerful incentive of all: love. 

He would draw Squall's blood and make him leave Balamb or die trying. No more rivalry. The winner would gain his own world, it included Balamb Garden and Rinoa. 

The sound of his boots smashing the green grass were each little dares to Squall. The brunette was wearing the same outfit he had worn when they had scarred each other. His eyes weren't cloudy, but bright and clear. They were ready for the fight. 

"When I win you will leave Garden…not just Rinoa," snarled Seifer. His anger was dangerously close to bloodlust. He saw the same look in Squall's face. 

"And when I win, no phoenix down will save you," threatened Squall. 

- - - - - - - - - -

It was bitterly cold outside the Ragnarok, but at least she didn't have to be with those accusing people. Like she had set out to ensnare both of them! She had assumed that Seifer didn't want her anymore. She had picked up the pieces of her heart and given them to Squall. After they had talked about Seifer's reason for being so distant, she understood. It was actually the most romantic thing she had ever heard. He had loved her too much. Being an orphan, Seifer was just too uneasy about losing her. 

She had worn this old dress because she had worn it on one of their few dates. It made her feel closer to Seifer. Though right now she wished she had worn something more substantial. Her cold feet stamped to produce some heat. As she did, she heard a noise coming from an icy ridge a bit away from her. She didn't know that ice echoed. Maybe it was a snow bunny. Or maybe it was a monster, but she felt confidant in her fighting abilities and she went towards it hoping it was a bunny. She needed something to lighten her heart. 

- - - - - - - - - -

The first crash of the swords had nearly the strength to break them. They didn't break, but the reverberations shook the two combatants' arms. Their eyes focused on their opponents faces with only occasional glances to their weapons. 

Seifer shot a high thrust towards Squall's head that was easily cast aside by the headmaster's sword. Even though they were focused on the battle, they could see a crowd forming already. Squall had a tendancy to aim low with his blade and Seifer counted on that in battle. That was why he was caught off guard with a jab to the shoulder. It hurt like hell. His retaliation from that nearly cut Squall, but the brunette was quicker and he dodged with some effort. 

"First blood Seifer." 

Seifer gritted his teeth. He was doing this for Rinoa. But, he didn't see her and it wasn't like he had time to really look. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Irvine was the kind hearted one that finally went out to check on Rinoa. She had been out there for so long. He pecked Zell on the lips before heading outside. It was so damn cold outside. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Seifer felt the blade slice neatly across squalls chest. It cut into that cute little jacket that he wore, across his white shirt, and flipped up griever behind his neck. Blood flowed down over the cuts in the clothes. Squall backed up and hunched down momentarily. It was no good though, he couldn't take time even to catch his breath. Seifer was already on him again ready to take advantage of the attack. Damn Seifer. The pain in his chest made his arms slower and he was barely able to fend off Seifer's blade. In the end he did though, and the two faced each other from a standard distance once again. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"Zone?" Wow, it was even better than a bunny! Rinoa smiled. Her friend was here in all this ice! "What are you doing here?" 

"Rinoa…" said Zone. One second before raising his gun. 

Rinoa had only a moment to react. Her face went white, her hands went up, and her mouth dropped open. That was the position she was in when the bullet went through her forehead. 

Irvine watched her hit the ground. But, he had already pulled out his weapon. The bang of Zone's gun had already caused his hands to bring it out. He fired at Zone and brought him down with the one bullet. He stared at the body of Rinoa laying on the snow, he could see her fingers curling with life. That was what he needed to see. He ran towards her, keeping alert for other assassins. 

"Rinoa!" 

- - - - - - - - - -

The pain in his chest was too deep. His concentration was broken. The crowd was yelling things. They didn't want their Headmaster to die. They didn't want their hero to die either. And unlike so many mobs surrounding a fight, they wanted it to end. 

Selphie was just getting out of the shower. She was the one person who would be coming between them, but she didn't know what was going on. 

Everyone had heard the gunshots. The Seeds ran outside quickly, leaving Edea unattended. Zell was running faster than anyone had ever seen him run. His Irvine was outside. 

Once outside they saw that it wasn't Irvine they had to worry about. Rinoa was on the ground. The snow around her was red. 

"No…" said Rinoa. It was a whisper, her body was convulsing. 

"Rinoa, hang in there." Irvine didn't know what to say. 

- - - - - - - - - -

She would die. There was no way she could live through that. Her head was shattered. He didn't even know how she was alive. "Seifer…Sq…Squall…" Red tears flowed out of her red eyes. Her body was taken over by violent shaking. 

Quistis was crying before she got to them. She knew Rinoa was going to die. Rinoa hadn't been perfect, but she didn't deserve to be bleeding out on the snow. No! It wasn't allowed to happen. 

Zell was in automatic mode. His love was all right. It was Seed training that led him to the patch of snow Zone had been behind. He saw an army of armed nutcases about 100 meters away. His eyes narrowed. They were going down. 

The Ragnarok crew were already on it fortunately. The gunshots had led them to turn on sensors and they had already found the rebels. How they had hidden themselves from the initial sensors, they didn't know, but they were on them now. Before Zell could even give the order, a laser burst from the ragnarok launched 50 meters out landing in the dead center of the anti-sorceress group. 

Irvine heard the loud noises, but he was cradling the convulsing Rinoa in his arms. "Don't die. Seifer loves you too much for you to die." 

Rinoa's eyes were twirling and not seeing anything. But in her mind, she was seeing the man that she truly wanted for the rest of her life. His face was bright and he was reaching out his hand to help her out of her pain. She was so happy as she took his ungloved hand. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Selphie was panicking. She had the phone still to her ear. "WHERE IS SQUALL?" she screamed as she ran down the hallway. Someone had to know where he was. There was an ambush, Edea was calling from the Shumi Village. Squall wasn't his office so Edea had called Selphie. 

The halls were empty. It was pissing her off. Where was Squall when they needed him? And where were those gossipy girls when she needed them? "HELP! WHERE IS SQUALL?" she screamed. 

"Selphie, he's fighting Squall outside," said the first person that Selphie had seen throughout the whole Garden. She was a teacher for the smaller kids and she had a few of them around her. "It's why we're inside." 

"Not now!" shrieked Selphie. He couldn't be fighting over Rinoa now! She had been injured! 

- - - - - - - - - -

Squall stabbed through his leg. Damn cheap low shots. Perhaps those were the only ones that he could make now that he'd been injured across the chest. Seifer cursed. It hurt. But he kept his guard up. 

They were both bleeding from multiple wounds now and their attacks had become severely less impressive. 

Edea was outside now, she had seen the Ragnarok fire and she knew it was safe. She saw Rinoa shaking. She was running towards her. The phone was still to her mouth. "Selphie, Oh Selphie, she's dying!" 

Irvine was crying. He was worried. There was nothing he could do. He was casting cure, cure2, cure3. None of it was working. She was shaking and she wouldn't stop. Surely the Shumi had something to give her. 

"Kckckckck…" was the only words that she was saying. Her head was rolling around, the blood flopping onto her cheeks. 

"No…" 

- - - - - - - - - -

A few men had survived the Ragnarok blast and Zell was beating the crap out of the ones that he could find. His anger unleashed full blast on these jerks who would kill his matron and his friends. He couldn't even tell which ones were dead or just unconscious. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Edea finally reached Rinoa. It was just in time to see Rinoa's shuddering stop. Completely. Irvine's felt the weight change and all the motion stop. 

"No!" said Edea, her hand covered her mouth. 

Irvine tried something he never thought he would ever use again. He started to use a phoenix down. Edea grabbed his arm. "Don't you dare! Look at her brain! She would never come back!" 

Irvine knew. He knew only too well. She'd be a vegetable and unlike Seifer, she'd never recover. His tears were flowing like a river. They were helpless. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Selphie heard the words through the phone and it almost caused her to trip and fall down the last of the stairs. "Matron? She's not dead! She's isn't! Matron?" 

She heard Edea's whimper. "Oh Selphie, she's all bloody. She's dead. They killed Rinoa." 

Selphie was sobbing and heading to the field. She saw the two figures. Both looked tired and angry. She saw the crowd around them. She could hear that none of them were shouting anything. They understood. This wasn't a fight, it was a deathmatch. 

She pushed through the bodies right onto the battlefield. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Their breathing was forced. Every muscle was strained and painful. Squall had cuts on his chest, shoulder, face, and arm. Seifer was wounded in his leg, his shoulder, and his right hand was nearly severed at the palm. 

"You don't look so pretty anymore," spat Seifer. 

"How's the hand?" retorted Squall. They were too hurt to attack. The words were required for any swordplay. 

They were circling each other. One would die. If it took all day. 

- - - - - - - - - -

But, it wasn't to be one of them who died. 

Selphie ran between them, with an oustretched phone. "Rinoa is dead! RINOA IS DEAD! STOP FUCKING FIGHTING!" 

The two looked at her. It was strange not thinking about the fight. Their minds were thrown off. What had she said? 

"RINOA IS DEAD GODDAMMIT!" She held out the phone as evidence. Her face was a bright purple. "How dare you be fighting?!?" 

Seifer looked confused. He actually looked at the crowd for the first time. Rinoa wasn't there. Where was she? 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he yelled. "Where is she?" 

Squall's eyes were wide. He pulled the phone from Selphie. He heard Edea hysterically screaming. 

"She's dead! Selphie? Selphie? Where is Squall?" 

Squall felt the pain of her words in his stomach. He felt like vomiting. "I'm here Edea. Where is Rinoa?" 

"She's at my feet Squall! They were waiting here for us! One of them shot her!" Then Edea was talking to someone else in the background. "Irvine says it was Zone." 

Zone. Squall's informant. Hadn't he been in Trabia? No. He had been the only one who knew where the sorceress really was besides Squall. The word 'traitor' echoed through his brain. "How do you know she's dead?" 

"Squall! She's been shot in the head!" 

Squall dropped to the ground. He landed hard on his ass, but it didn't matter. He couldn't feel anything but disbelief. No, it couldn't be. 

"Dammit Squall, what are they saying?" demanded Seifer. He grabbed the phone. "Hello? Edea?" 

There was no response. He only heard yelling. "Edea? Where did she go? Squall? Was she there?" 

- - - - - - - - - -

Edea and Irvine had been paying so much attention to Rinoa, that they hadn't noticed the injured terrorist that came over the icy hill. He got off three shots before Zell caught him from behind. Zell quickly grabbed the gun and shot the man in the head. But it was too late. 

Zell ran down the hill screaming Irvine's name. But once again, Irvine hadn't been the victim. Matron was on the ground next to the body of Rinoa. She had a shot to the neck and stomach. Her body was limp. 

"They did it. They killed the sorceresses," said Irvine. He had endured too much sadness. His feelings and body felt numb. He hobbled to Zell and held him close. Matron was dead and Rinoa was dead. They cried together. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Seifer heard Irvine's words. "Irvine! Pick up the phone! Dammit! Irvine!!!" His yelling could be heard inside of garden. 

"Seifer, Edea dropped the phone when they shot her," said Irvine. His voice was cold and empty. 

"What happened?" 

"They shot Rinoa and then they shot Edea." 

"Who shot Rinoa???" Seifer didn't know a damn thing that was going on and it was driving him mad. 

"A terrorist group. We have to scout the area still, to make sure these bastards don't get my Zell. Bye Seifer." 

The phone conversation was over. 

Seifer's life was over. 

He fell to his knees beside Squall. Squall's eyes looked mournfully at him. He had to lay down. He was on the grass. He let himself sob. He felt Squall's head against his. He heard Squall's crying too. The despair was too much. There was no fight in either of them. Life had a plan of it's own that it didn't want them to have a hand in. 

- - - - - - - - - -

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	13. Hope and The Lack of It

**Chapter Thirteen  
Hope and the Lack of it**

  


Squall was waking up against him. Seifer wanted him to go back to sleep. The silence was better when they were asleep. And the smell was better when Seifer was asleep. They had showered once or twice since Her. But there was no point. Being naked made them feel even more vulnerable. 

Squall looked at him, his eyebrows frowning. "I don't want to be alive." 

Seifer nodded. This wasn't really living though was it? "We need to shower though." 

"Why don't we kill ourselves?" 

They talked about it at least twenty times a day. Why didn't they kill themselves? The hope that She would come back to life? The fear of death? They would think of a reason everytime. "It's a coward's way out." 

Squall silently agreed. He deserved to suffer for having sent Her to Her death. "I ordered her to be there." 

Seifer groaned. "I know. It was cause I was stealing her from you." 

"I hate you." 

"And I hate you." 

Seifer's doorbell rang. They had to stay at Seifer's. Squall's had smelled like Her. "Hey guys, we need to talk to you." 

It was Zell. They didn't want to see Zell. 

"When was the last time we ate?" asked Squall suddenly. 

"I don't remember. I'll get the door." He slowly went to the door, with Squall still puzzling over food. "Hello Zell and Irvine." 

Seifer noticed that they weren't wearing black anymore. "Why aren't you wearing black?" 

Zell half smiled. "Seif, it's been 3 months. We stopped wearing black a long time ago." 

"Seif?" Seifer looked puzzled. What had Rinoa called him? Surely she had once had a pet name for him. He couldn't remember if she had or not. He wanted to go back to bed. 

"We brought some food. It's chicken," said Irvine, holding up a food container. 

Squall had already smelled it. "They behead chickens, but they don't shoot them in the head. It taints the food." 

Irvine and Zell were shocked. They knew that their friends hadn't left Seifer's room in months, but they hadn't realized how bad they were doing. 

Zell stepped closer to the two of them. "Irvine and I are getting married." Perhaps it wasn't best to just blurt it out, but the room smelled bad and it made him sad to be there. 

Seifer and Squall looked at each other. Seifer crawled back under the covers and held Squall tightly. He didn't want to hear about happy people. 

Squall held Seifer close, not with affection, but pure reflex. "We can't remember when we ate last. You can leave the chicken. We will eat it." 

"You guys don't look so good," said Irvine. 

"She probably didn't either. Please leave." It wasn't a request. Squall was already closing his eyes and burying his head in Seifer. 

Three months was a long time. Had they been like this for three months? Surely, the pain was supposed to lessen by that point. 

Zell and Irvine left. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"I told you that we needed to shower." 

"I didn't want to be naked," said Squall. They were under the stream of water, fully clothed. That had been Seifer's idea. "I'm hungry. I'm glad they brought chicken." 

Seifer thought about it. Yes, he was glad they had to. "I wonder what we look like." 

After only the first week, Seifer had broken the mirror in the bathroom. He didn't want to see the disheveled mess that Her death had made him. 

Squall squinted at him. "You look…skinny. You look weak too. Your eyes look really big now." The Almasy build had always been imposing. He didn't look imposing anymore. He looked like a starving child. Squall reached out to run his fingers around Seifer's eyes. 

Seifer wasn't surprised that Squall was touching him, there had scarcely been a time since Her that they hadn't been touching. It was the fact that Squall was looking AT him, not through him. Something had changed. They were recovering. Seifer didn't want to. He wanted to hold onto his mourning. He didn't deserve to get over her. 

Squall nodded. "I feel it too." He hugged Seifer tightly. It wasn't fair. He didn't want to be hungry or still have to pee. His bodily functions should have stopped when Hers did. 

"Do you think the funeral was nice?" asked Seifer. He was running the third batch of shampoo through Squall's hair. 

Squall nodded. "Yeah. President Carroway had money, so I'm sure he paid a lot for it." 

Seifer gasped. "You don't think they put Her in Deling City do you?" 

Squall hadn't really thought about. They always buried Garden students at Garden. But, they'd always been orphans. Rinoa was the first Seed with parents, and famous ones at that. "I want to find out." 

"Me too. I kind of want to see Her anyway." 

"Let's eat first." 

- - - - - - - - - -

They actually shaved each other first. They had to slice off the majority of hair with a knife first. There was just too much bulk. When they put on new clothes, they felt like different people. They weren't Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart anymore. But they also weren't the people they had been hours before. It was discomforting. 

Everyone gaped at them in the hallways. There had been rumors that they had committed suicide and Garden was trying to cover it up with the story that they were "In mourning." No one attempted to talk to them. They had all been there and seen how it had hit them. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"No, he's not available. But, as I've stated a thousand times, I am the headmaster in Squall's absence." Quistis was getting pissed. These officials never wanted to take her serious. "No, he is not dead!" 

She slammed down the phone. Diplomacy be damned. These people were just rude. When a knock came at the door, she wanted to dive under the desk and keep silent. But, she didn't. "Come in?" 

"Hi Quistis," said Seifer, one arm around Squall's shoulder. They both looked so thin that she gasped. But, they were out of their room and that was good. 

"Hi Seifer. Is there anything I can do for you?" She had to play it cool and not jump up and down for joy that they were recovering. 

"We want to see Her. Is She in Garden or Deling City?" 

Well, recovery only went so fast. "Of course, she's here. All students stay with their Garden. I'll take you there." 

Squall nodded. Quistis noticed that by the way Seifer was looking at her, it was as if he had been the one to nod. It was creepy. They had bonded into one entity. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Rinoa Heartilly was dead. Her headstone was carved with wings around her name. Just like the ones that had been on the back of her favorite outfit. There were fresh white flowers on the site. Seifer and Squall wondered who had put those there. 

"Where is Matron?" asked Seifer. It was the first time that the two had thought about the other casualty. 

Quistis shook her head. "Not by Rinoa. She is at the orphanage at Cid's request. But, she has her own statue. It's by the front gate." 

"Good. She was too good of a person not to have a statue." 

"Yes she was," said a voice from behind them. It was ex-headmaster Cid. Seifer and Squall watched him. He was a fellow victim of close loss. The bond was there. "Glad to see you two out of your room." 

Squall opened his mouth, but Seifer asked first. "How did you do it?" 

Cid smiled. "Edea died because she wanted to be by my side when I was ill. I would have done the same for her. It was just her first instead of me. Someday, I'll join her again…somewhere." 

Seifer and Squall bowed their heads. He had shown more courage than they did. "We all have our time and regardless of the length of it, we have to do our best in that time. A short life can have more impact on the world than a long one. It's all what you make of it. Edea helped thousands of orphans find homes. Rinoa Heartilly saved the world. We've been witness to two great women. We should honor them by following in the footsteps they have left behind." 

Seifer and Squall smiled. The first time in three months. "Damn hard to go on without those great women though…" said Seifer. 

Cid nodded. "It sure is." 

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	14. Fates Entwined

**Chapter Fourteen  
Fates Entwined**

  


"I now pronounce you…" Cid stopped momentarily to glare at the couple. "Caveman and caveman." How ridiculous! But that's just what happens when you let two men pick out wedding vows. 

The whole wedding burst out with cheers as the two faced the room as caveman and caveman. Irvine gave a giant thumbs up to everyone before swooping down to kiss Zell. How he had ever had a crush on Seifer he didn't know! Zell was his world! His one and only! And now, they had rings and a certificate to prove it! 

Seifer held tightly to Squall's hand. "Don't get any ideas Almasy!" joked Squall. 

The atmosphere in the reception room was one of total mindless elation. Selphie was bouncing to a happy song with her new boyfriend in the center of the room. Seifer led Squall to talk to her. Squall let himself be led for a bit. They tended to just trade off being dominant. Whichever was in the better mood seemed to just take over. 

"Hey Selphie! So, what do you think of my work?" 

Selphie stopped dancing, but continued bouncing slightly. "What Squall? Eh, I could take him or leave him!" 

Seifer shook his head. He looked so cute in uniform. But, not quite as cute as bouncing Selphie in uniform. "No, I mean Irvine and Zell. They wouldn't be together if it wasn't for me!" 

Selphie smiled. "Are you kidding? They were meant to be! There's only so much credit you can take!" 

Squall laughed. He affectionately squeezed Seifer's hand. "It's true. You were unconscious for most of it." 

"So, when are we going to see rings on your fingers?" asked Selphie peeking at their hands. 

"They can't get engaged at our wedding! It would detract from our attention!" said a proud Irvine. He swooped up the group into his long arms. 

Zell smiled beside him. "Besides, Squall should know about the orgy before that happens!" 

Squall looked positively befuddled. "What orgy?" 

Seifer looked guilty. "Well, anyway, we were going to tell Rinoa about this. We'll be back in a bit." He started dragging the brunette out of the reception. 

Irvine and Zell chortled. Selphie looked confused. 

- - - - - - - - - -

"And he actually had to say 'caveman', it was great Rinoa! You would have laughed so hard. I know me and Squall were." 

They were sitting down beside the headstone. Squall smiled at him. "She would have laughed over us too." 

"Yeah well, who would have believed that we'd end up being an us?" 

Squall scooted closer to Seifer. "I would. It was fate." 

Something sparkled in Seifer's eye. "I knew you felt that way. How would you like to be the next Garden wedding?" 

Squall was surprised, but completely sure that there was nothing more he could ask for. "You don't have a ring." 

Seifer laughed a hearty laugh and pulled out a ring from his coat pocket. "I thought of everything!" 

Squall's eyes went wide. "You really planned this?" 

He hung his head a bit. His voice became serious. "I knew that we had to do this in front of Rinoa. She is the only reason we are together. And she was so important to us." 

Squall nodded. 

"She opened you up and if she hadn't, I don't think I would be able to stand you. You never talked and the only way you would was if I pissed you off. So, this is a good combo. You talk and I don't piss you off." 

"Well, you still piss me off." 

Seifer laughed and kissed Squall. "You saved me from dying a second time. Marry me." 

Over the beautiful tombstone they had resurrected in honor of a great woman, two lovers devoted their lives to each other. However many they had. 

And everyone lived happily ever after. 

"So, what orgy?" asked Squall. 

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End file.
